Forgotten
by castielsgrace
Summary: When Cas fell, he lost his memory. Dean won't give up until he gets it back. The Notebook AU. Oneshot.


**Note:** This is based off of a post on Tumblr, which I will link to at the bottom of the fic. I appreciate any feedback you may have! :)

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After six months, Dean stopped looking for Castiel. He lost all hope, finally letting Sam's words sink in, resonate; _He was in heaven, Dean. I… I don't think Cas made it through this one._ He fought _so hard_ to get Cas back. He tried everything, he didn't lose hope. He _believed_ that he would come back, until one day he just stopped believing. And on that day, Dean came to terms with the fact that he would never see Castiel again. He grieved, he cried, and although he would deny it, he prayed. He prayed to the God he knew was gone to bring Cas back, and after all of that, he moved on.

Which is why Dean wasn't prepared for what he would feel when he found Cas, tucked away in some mental health institution in who-the-fuck-cares, Utah and unknowingly stuck in the middle of a shit storm of vamp kills. If Sam hadn't called out for Castiel, Dean wouldn't have believed that the fallen angel that had been haunting his dreams was actually there. But in that moment, in the moment that Dean realized he was very real—and very alive, everything else was forgotten. Dean had run to him, pulling him into his arms and just holding him.

The moment that Castiel pushed him away was the moment that Dean's heart broke. A nurse was suddenly right there. Holding Cas, calming him and patiently asking Dean who he was, and what he thought he was doing. Dean didn't answer her. He couldn't. His brain couldn't form any coherent thoughts aside from _he doesn't remember._

"We… we know him." Sam croaked from beside him, and Dean briefly wondered when he had gotten so close, when his hand had wrapped around his forearm. "Or… we did."

The nurse had immediately perked up, questions pouring out of her at a mile a minute as she informed them that Castiel had shown up just short of a year ago with no memory outside of his name. She told them how Cas had been terrified and irrationally upset over the 'massive comet storms', and that no one had any idea who he was or where he came from.

From that day on, Dean spent his days at Castiel's side. He told him their story, though Cas thought it was some sort of fairytale. There was no recognition in his blue eyes, just simple interest. Sam asked why he bothered; why he put himself through the hell of coming back to their hotel each night heartbroken and completely forgotten. "Cas isn't going to remember!" He shouted one night, tired of seeing Dean in his state of distress, "You're just punishing yourself!"

But Dean couldn't just give up. Cas would remember. He _knew_ he would. He _had_ to. Dean needed him, and Cas was always there when Dean needed him to be. So he continued to tell their stories, watching Castiel closely as he laughed and cried, even got angry at the angel character for always leaving. He was so different from the Cas that Dean knew, yet he was still himself. His eyes still held their intense gaze, the one that told just how many millennia he had lived through. Knowing that Cas was in there somewhere was part of the reason that Dean continued, and continue he did.

Two months after he found Cas, Dean's story was coming to an end. They found themselves perched on the old wooden swing in the garden that Cas had come to favour, night quickly falling. Normally, this would be when Nancy—Cas' nurse—would come and tell Dean that he had to leave, but tonight he had asked her to leave them so he could finish the story, and with a sad look in her eyes, she had nodded.

"So the angel left the brothers and went up into heaven, doing what he thought was right. I don't know what happened up there, but suddenly all of the angels were falling. They looked like thousands of comets, and it lit up the sky. The hunter called for the angel. He would say that it was because his brother was suffering and he needed help, but in his heart he knew it was because he wanted to know that the angel was okay. He _needed_ to know he was okay, and he needed him to be there with them.

"The angel never came, and the hunter eventually stopped praying. He thought he had lost the angel, but he found him again. A year later, he found the angel again in the middle of one of his cases, but the angel was human now. He was human, and he didn't know who the hunter was." Dean chocked back his tears, "After everything that they sacrificed, they were forced apart for good. The hunter prayed to God, and the son of a bitch didn't answer."

Cas tilted his head to the side in quiet contemplation, and the motion was so _Cas_ and Dean had to force himself to stay calm, for Cas' sake. After a minute, Cas asked him a very simple question. "They fell in love, didn't they?"

"Yeah, they did." Dean didn't hesitate. Castiel had simply put into words something they had both felt—that Dean still felt.

There was a long pause, and then Castiel spoke. "I think," He bit his lip, "I think that freedom is a length of rope, and God wants us to hang ourselves with it."

In that moment, Dean knew he had reason to hope. One day, Cas would come back to him, and until that day he would be here.

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Here is where you can find the post: post/50705965132/teddykaplan-the-notebook-dean-cas tiel-in (remove the brackets because won't let you link).


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